February 2010
1 tag
puppy livestream →
1 tag
dear viagra,
no matter how many commercials you show me during professional football, i will not purchase your product.
my penis is in perfect working condition; as it’s not “broke”, i have no intentions of “fixing” it. i advise you to take this savings in the advertising budget and put it towards airtime during “60 minutes”.
1 tag
i'm only watching the grammys if it features a...
I DIDN'T REALIZE PEOPLE WERE SO SENSITIVE. THAT'S...
(via missleeding)
January 2010
2 tags
talking with my boss
(fleetwood mac song comes over the radio)
b: wow. if i could sleep with any musician, it would be stevie nicks.
m: i'd have to opt for girls' generation.
b: never heard of them?
m: it's a nine member korean spice girls.
b: you'd be totally outnumbered!
m: yeah, well... so was schwarzenegger in "commando".
1 tag
turning up the heat takes too long; i take a hot...
2 tags
now that i think about it, wearing a balaclava is...
2 tags
phil liggett's pro tour 2010
3
anomolly:
this started out as a list of three things but the first two were rude so i’m just going to tell you the third one:
i wish i could have waffles for breakfast.
2 tags
2 tags
i bet captain america is super rad to hang out...
2 tags
"dickin' down oprah"
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the way things are going, i'm going to need a...
2 tags
mentioning jesus' genitals can really make some...
2 tags
our work name tags have "funny" nicknames on them....
1 tag
the alarms don't work anymore.
2 tags
fuck riding my bike in this NASTY weather!!
calicarlito:
I’m soaked from my head to my toes as I walk into work, literally dripping from my jeans.
It’s pouring out and the wind is horrible, I could barely ride my bike with the combination of the downpour and the water being sprayed in my eyes!
Philadelphia…stay inside today!
riding bad weather not only makes you better, it makes you a fucking soldier. celebrate.
My Top 5 Artists (Week Ending 2010-1-24) →
2 tags
my neighbor has been running on her treadmill...
2 tags
if you don't like pizza, there's no room for you...
2 tags
i'm starting to wonder if my left eye takes...
2 tags
i'd approve of obama more if he'd find some...
1 tag
1 tag
women: i'm all for slutty outfits, but don't fuck...
4 tags
today i discovered chai tea + espresso. this must...
1 tag
2 tags
i bet that videos of juggalos is a really potent...
2 tags
never have i wanted to start a mosh pit more than...
1 tag
cheesy bread is like gunshot wounds: even with the...
1 tag
anomolly:
i really want to hijack lipinsky’s projection screen during a humanities lecture (while there are like 500 people in the auditorium) and play a video of a prof (or someone) going, “WHO HAS A MESSAGE FOR THE HUMANITIES PROGRAM?” and then cut in with a video of me going, “i have a message for the humanities program. that you are ALL going to…FAIL.” then do the evil laugh for twenty...
2 tags
most argumentative ever
m: you're the most argumentative person ever.
l: no, i'm not. not even close.
m: you're arguing with me right now.
1 tag
dear tumblr,
the continuous downtime is rapidly approaching “ate a whole wheel of cheese and pooped in the fridge” status with me; i’m actually sort of impressed.
i do, however, propose that you hire any one/several of the (literally) hundred thousand plus artists that belong to tumblr to submit designs for a new error page. if i’m going to be seeing a “we’re fucking...
1 tag
On Career Options
him: yeah well I'm older than that
him: how's the rap game gonna support a middle-aged white dude?
1 tag
few things fuck with a person more than perfect...